There is Light

Sometimes we go through situations in life that we should not, especially when we are children. Children remember more than parents give credit for, from good times and bad. Never underestimate children.

My parents divorced by the time I was two. They have both been remarried a couple of times. Through the different step parents I have I remember good times as well as the bad. Unfortunately the bad times have played a role throughout my life. I remember being yelled at, feeling as if I was between two parents because of them talking “bad” about one another to me. Parents doing that only hurt your children. I know when my parents did that I felt like I was the one in trouble; the one that had to choose one parent or another, or that was supposed to agree with them. I remember at one time that when I was going to see my mom that my step-mom did not like it. She got mad at me and would not take me to church so my dad said she was not going to take my sister without me and during the argument she smacked me as hard as possible and left an imprint on my face. Due to this being done I still do not like people putting their hands around my face. I remember going to my mom’s house and would play the role as the protector of my younger sister. My step-dad did not like me for reason I still don’t know. I was yelled at and cussed at. I would also stand up to him because he would get on to her and it was his daughters that did it and I was not going to allow her to get in trouble so I would be the one between them and get the hitting. I remember one time that he held my arm so hard that my mom got between us. Do not get me wrong there were happy times of playing games, going on vacations, and just going outside and being kids.

Once I turned 18 I got a boyfriend that I fell in love with. He was my first love. I would go to his parents’ house (where he lived) and I adored them. They were so nice and loving and even told me they wanted me as their daughter in law. At the beginning of the relationship it was every girls dream. We went to church, went on church activities, went on vacations together with his family and friends, we also went on a missionary trip to Honduras. Soon after I thought I was with the perfect guy is when I started getting a feeling something was not right. Shortly after I found out “this feeling” was true. The guy was cheating on me. I thought I was going to die, I never thought he would do something like this and caused us to breakup. However, we are still friends to this day as we have been there for each other all these years later.

After that relationship a few years later I got with someone. I always believe people should have a second chance in life. I decided I was going to get with someone that had a bad history but seemed to have changed. After a while of being with him my grandma passed away from cancer and he was not there for me. But I stayed with him. I would spend every weekend with him. After months of being together I decided to move in with him. That is when I found out he had not changed. I was working well over 40 hours a week while he worked part time. He had a son that I loved and only because of me did he come stay weekends with us. After a while he lost his job while I picked up more hours. I found out later he was not paying the rent. So we were told we had to move out by a certain date. During that time I came home from work one night and he had friends over. He got mad because I was talking to one of his buddies and in the hall way through almost a full bottle of alcohol that almost hit me in my head. From that day I was scared, I did not know what I was going to do, or how to get out. Finally we moved back to Murray, at first into my Nanny’s house and then my dad’s. If it were not for my dad helping me getting out of a bad situation I don’t know what would have happened to me. After almost 2 years of being with him I was free. It was hard getting used to it. For a while afterwards I was scared to go places because he was stalking me, my car was being messed with, and I had to quit my job because I was working with his mother and he would purposely come up there.

After almost a year of not being with him I started talking to a guy that I had not talked to in forever. He was coming back home for a few weeks from the Air Force. He talked like we would get together then all of a sudden changed and went crazy on me. So to say the least we did not meet up and hang out not even as friends. On my birthday, which is in February, I went to meet up with an old friend that I had not saw in years (since I was with the first boyfriend). I was nervous even though we were getting to hang out as friends. The fears of my past relationships were coming to surface. But it turned out to be a great night. One that I smiled and laughed and we watched movies and went to eat at a place we use to back in the day, Steak-N-Shake! From then we hit it off and hung out constantly. On April 23, 2011 we officially were boyfriend/girlfriend. It was really odd at first because I was so use to having to drive everywhere and pay for everything and now I didn’t have to. Well on December 31, 2011 he proposed to me and I said yes! On May 18, 2013 we got married. My now husband has never laid a hand on me, screamed at me, or hurt me. No our relationship is not perfect (no one’s is) but I could not imagine being married to anyone else!

My point of this post is to show you there is light at the end of the tunnel. It may take days, weeks, months, or years to see but don’t give up, keep going and have faith! God Bless each of you!